Like many Olympic fans around the world, we watched with held breath hoping to see the breakthrough performance of the Quad God Ilia Malinin. We literally stood up when he stepped on the ice, waiting for his ascent to the Olympic top with his final routine. The first fall was devastating, and from there we couldn’t believe our eyes at how fast his routine fell apart. The Quad King who was perceived to be untouchable was dethroned, finishing in a dismissal 8th place. A silver medal for him would have been a failure—that’s how much better he is than his opponents. The commentators compared him to 5G while calling the others flip phones. Yet entering the Olympics as the unquestioned and unchallengeable favorite, two-time World Champion, he struggled to put together his free skate routine and lost not only the gold medal and the Olympic title, but any chance at any medal. It was painful to watch his live score going down with each subsequent element of his routine.

As a sports parent, my heart was with him and his family the moment he finished. The disappointment on his face told it all.

What are the lessons we can learn from this, both as parents and athletes?

There is no such thing in sport as guaranteed – whether it’s a result, making the podium, or being placed on the squad. Nothing is certain until it happens.

Hype plays a bad joke on athletes. Athletes aren’t machines. Even an athlete at Ilia Malinin’s level—probably the highest level in the sport—is going to be affected by the hype around him. There was not a single media outlet covering the Olympics that didn’t forecast Malinin’s victory. All social media accounts talked about this unbeatable Quad God as if it had already happened. It’s hard on the mind to disappoint the whole world, to fall short of everyone’s expectations. Even for untouchable athletes.

Humbleness matters. It’s important to learn how to shake off all this hype, how to stay humble and focused. The crowned Olympic Champion from Kazakhstan, nowhere near a candidate for any medal, let alone gold, Mikhail Shaidorov stayed super humble to the end. His interviews were about hard work and determination, not about how he would surprise the world. He won the gold by a big margin, performing a stunning routine. One of the factors that helped him calm the nerves was the relative lack of everyone’s expectations.

Camaraderie defines true champions. When Malinin’s scores were announced, he immediately went to Shaidorov and hugged and congratulated him wholeheartedly. While in his heart he was extremely disappointed by his skating performance—and he said this first to his coaches and later in interviews—the gesture toward the winner was genuine, and it captured the true essence of sport.

A single moment does not define a champion. Yes, Malinin lost today, and we’ll need to wait another four years for him to get on the world’s biggest stage and perform again. Yet this single competition, this single moment does not define a true champion. I believe that what we’ll see in the next four years leading up to the 2030 Olympics in the French Alps will be something surreal and spectacular. If anything, this moment will define Malinin more than a win would have.

What This Means for You as a Sports Parent

Remember that any sport is first of all a huge mental game. Your words, your expectations, your hype around your athlete, your pressure on them—all of this has a huge effect on them, regardless of your intentions.

Your child hears everything you say about them. When you tell friends “She’s definitely going to win this weekend,” your child hears it. When you post on social media about your “future Olympian,” your child sees it. When you talk to other parents about college recruitment expectations, your child absorbs it.

Each of these statements adds weight. Each expectation becomes pressure. Each prediction becomes something they feel obligated to fulfill.

They already have enough pressure. They know what’s at stake. They know what they want to achieve. They know who they’re competing against and what they need to do. They don’t need you amplifying it.

The hype you create externally becomes the voice in their head. And for young athletes, that internal voice from parental expectations is amplified tenfold. It’s louder than their coach’s voice. It’s louder than their own voice. And it can drown out everything else when they step onto the strip or the ice or the court.

So if you want them to perform at their best, dial down your expectations. Reduce the hype surrounding your athlete. Minimize the pressure or try to eliminate it completely.

Remember that whatever stakes exist in the current competition will not define your athlete. This is just a moment in time, good or bad, and it will pass. The work before and the work after are the things that will define them.

What they need most is total and unconditional support and love: “I love you. I support you. And I’m proud of you. Not for what happens out there, but for what brought you there.”

They’ll bring the rest.