Academy of Fencing Masters Blog

Your child is into fencing. Really into fencing. They want to be at their fencing club five days a week, taking classes and private lessons and going to open fencing nights. They love to compete, and are willing to work hard to make their dreams of qualifying for top competitions. You’re a couple of years into this now, or maybe even a few years into it, and you know that fencing is not going anywhere. 

But you’re tired. Exhausted by it. Your child has all of this enthusiasm, and that’s wonderful, but after a while you’re struggling to keep up your enthusiasm for them. There you are anyway, cheering from the sidelines as your child goes for another point, grunting and panting while you jump up and down in your “Best Fencing Mom Ever” sweatshirt. You love your kids, you love that they are fencers, and you want to love the sport!

What happens if you don’t though? Deep down, what if you secretly don’t like fencing at all? Maybe you find it boring or repetitive. You might not like that you can’t see the athletes’ faces or that it uses weapons, even if it is in a non-violent way. There are lots of people who don’t like fencing. That doesn’t make them bad people. Not even if those people who don’t like fencing are the parents of children who adore it.  

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“He got lucky with that referee’s call.”

“You sure were lucky to get that point!”

“The matches pools are the luck of the draw.”

“I wish I had her luck in getting a good coach.”

Oftentimes in fencing it can seem like we don’t have control over everything. That’s not just the way that it seems, the truth is that we don’t have control over everything in fencing. There are plenty of aspects of this sport that do come down to chance, like the draw of opponents in competition or even the chance encounter that brought someone to fencing in the first place. 

It’s ok, even good, to get a firm understanding of how you as a fencer do have a lack of control in some situations in fencing. The problem comes for fencers, whether they are young fencers or seasoned fencers, who start to think that they don’t have control over anything in the bout. They get into this dangerous mindset that they are no longer in charge of how their fencing goes, and that leads to everything from poor performance to stagnation.  

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So you’ve decided to sign your child up for fencing! Congratulations to you, new fencing parents, and welcome to the world of your child hitting other people with long pointy metal sticks. 

There are lots of things about being a fencing parent that no one really tells you about. These aren’t dark secrets, but they are the reality that we all live with as we attempt to guide our kids through the wonderful world of this sport. Buckle your seat belts new fencing parents, it’s going to be one crazy ride!

Here are the things that we think you should most look out for in your young fencers, and that we wish someone had told us about!

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There’s nothing like being brand new fencer. It’s intimidating, but mostly it exciting. It’s a time in a fencer’s career that they can never quite capture again, one that most fencers look back on fondly. You’re going to look back on it fondly too someday! 

Starting off is not easy though. These tips are good for new fencers who haven’t yet tried their hand at the sport, but who are excited to dig in. These tips are also good for fencing parents and for fencers who don’t know what to expect!

1. Don’t worry about getting hurt

Accidents do happen from time to time, but the most common fencing injuries are the same as common injuries in other sports. Think strained muscles and twisted ankles. Scratches and pokes do happen, but these are almost always minor and easy to get used to. So many safety precautions are put into place that fencing turns actually into a very safe option. Fencing, despite being focused on a weapon, is one of the safest sports that you can participate in. Chess is a little safer, but soccer is definitely less safe! There is much more likelihood of getting injured on the softball field or at a golf course than on the fencing strip. 

What’s going to keep you safe is to follow the rules of the club and to always be aware. You’ll hear your coaches repeat safety measures over and over again. Listen to them!

Beginner fencing bonus tip – Safety always comes first in fencing. Work from the very beginning to make sure that you know how to wear and use the fencing protective gear and that you’re listening very carefully to the coach about safety guidelines. 

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This post was borne out of my personal parental experience at 2019 Fencing Summer Nationals in Columbus, OH, watching as my kids lost their bouts. How they cried. How they struggled. How they processed their defeat. How they talked about their lost bout afterwards, never right away.

Inside a kid fencer’s mind after a lost bout

For a parent, it is always difficult to watch your child cry. You understand that they are crying out of frustration. You know that they put a huge amount of effort into their training. They are now asking themselves tough questions like these:

• “Am I worth it?”
• “Am I any good at fencing?”
• “Is all of this hard work even worth it?”
• “Am I doing anything right? Can I do anything right?”
• “Why is she/he better than me?”
• “Why does this girl/boy train for half the time that I do and still beat me?”
• “Why are the refs so bad, calling for my opponent all the time?”

They might even start to ask themselves the really tough question.

• “Should I just quit fencing?”

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