It was just another typical day at the club when a fellow fencing parent approached me with that familiar look of pride mingled with uncertainty. Her 9-year-old son had recently discovered a passion for fencing, and like many parents, she wondered if she was doing enough – or perhaps too much – to fan those fledgling flames. 

“Igor, I see how much my son loves fencing,” she said, eyes following her son as he dashed around the strips. “But I want to push him and provide every opportunity, though I worry about pushing too hard at this age.”

I smiled knowingly, memories flooding back over a decade ago when my own four kids first discovered this incredible sport and fell head-over-heels for their fencing weapons. As a fencing dad, I’ve been in those shoes countless times.

We, husbands and children, often think of moms just one day a year on Mother’s Day, showering them with flowers, breakfasts in bed, and heartfelt cards. But as a parent myself, I believe moms share the same yearning – there is no greater gift than seeing our children happy, successful, healthy, and fulfilled in their passions.

The key lies in balancing enjoyment with a gentle, encouraging push. Kids are initially drawn to fencing for the sheer fun of it all. But without nurturing goals and competitive fire, that spark can easily flicker out. I’ve seen it time and again – the kids who don’t compete or take private lessons almost inevitably become bored and quit, no matter how enthusiastic their start.  

So don’t be afraid to ignite loftier ambitions and gently push when motivation wanes. Just be mindful not to smother their passion in the process.

Partner With Your Coaches

As parents, we think we know what’s best. But some areas require leaning on specialists. Fencing is deceptively complex, and your club’s coaches are the real experts in developing well-rounded fencers. Partner closely with them to understand the nuances of when to push, when to pull back, and what’s too much or too little. Their guidance helps avoid many pitfalls.

Be Their #1 Fan

Fencing is an incredibly mental game requiring intense focus and confidence. As a parent, you can create an invaluable safe space by being your fencer’s biggest cheerleader. Attend as many events as possible, cheering wildly for successes and providing reassuring hugs after tough losses. Let them know you’re their unwavering supporter through all the ups and downs.

Celebrate the “Small” Wins  

The fencing journey is paved with countless “little” victories before the big ones. Celebrate each mini-milestone enthusiastically – attending their first competition, scoring that first point, making a new friend. Those tiny sparks of accomplishment fuel the burning passion to keep going.

Foster Open Discussion

Don’t demand a daily report on lessons learned. The sport belongs as much to them as it does to you (actually, more to them than to you). Instead, engage your fencer in casual conversation about their experiences.

“Wow, I saw you flying for that crazy fleche! Is that a new move? It looked amazing!” 

This creates a trusting environment for your fencer to openly share goals, frustrations, favorite moments and more. Nurturing that bond provides insights into how to best support their journey.

Emphasize Perseverance, Not Body Type

Fencing’s beauty lies in its inclusiveness – there is no ideal size, shape, or athletic build required for greatness. The most crucial factors are desire, hard work, and an unwavering will to improve.

As their biggest supporter, instill the determination to embrace the roller coaster of highs and lows. For every euphoric win, there will be gut-wrenching losses and inevitable plateaus. Framing these as integral parts of the journey breeds the resilience to persevere through adversity.

I hope this discussion sheds some light on nurturing your fencing journey together. Mothers and fathers alike wish for nothing more than to protect the spark of passion in our children’s eyes and empower their dreams to become incredible realities. What greater Mother’s Day gift could there be?

Photo by Geoffrey Whiteway from Freerange Stock under free license