I recently had a discussion with a concerned parent who made the decision not to sign up her daughter for a fencing competition. Her reasoning was that in her last tournament, her daughter had only won three bouts in the pools and lost her first Direct Elimination (DE) bout. To her, it seemed evident that her daughter’s level of experience was insufficient, and she planned to wait until her daughter’s win rate improved.

I explained to her that this situation is akin to a classic chicken-and-egg dilemma. To become a proficient fencer, you need to participate in competitions, as your statistics are an integral part of the competition experience. Making judgments based on a single competition is unreliable and shortsighted.

Take, for instance, a recent occurrence at the Vancouver Epee World Cup, where some of the world’s top fencers, such as Olympic and World Champions and medalists, lost their first bout and were subsequently eliminated. If we only consider this single snapshot, their performance appears subpar. However, when we analyze their performance over the past five or six seasons and across numerous competitions, we see that they consistently rank among the world’s top fencers. This one competition means nothing in isolation and serves as a testament to the necessity of a broader perspective when evaluating a fencer’s skill and experience.

The Driving Analogy

To illustrate this concept, I often draw a comparison between competing in fencing and learning to drive. No matter how many times you read the rulebook or play video simulation games, becoming a skilled driver takes a considerable amount of practice.

Imagine learning to drive: you encounter hundreds, if not thousands, of diverse situations on the road. You navigate local roads, different highways, deal with aggressive drivers, decipher confusing GPS instructions, decipher graffiti-covered road signs, cope with blinding sun, adapt to sudden road construction, tackle driving in rain with faulty wipers, and traverse fog as thick as milk. Just when you begin feeling confident as a driver, you encounter challenging conditions, like winding, icy mountain roads with inadequate tires, and your confidence vanishes instantly.

This analogy resonates with many parents because it highlights the importance of experience. Just as you must accumulate extensive driving experience to become a confident driver, fencers must gain significant competition experience to excel in their sport.

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What are the things that make life really rich and meaningful? When you think about your own childhood, you probably don’t remember the things you did so much as the people you did them with. Your best friend who sat next to you in math class and made you laugh every day, or the kid on the playground who you lobbed pinecones at during recess, and all other meaningful friendships you had back then. 

Though we put a lot of emphasis on what it means to be a great fencer, where kids end up getting a lot of what matters in this sport is through the close friendships they forge with one another. This doesn’t just happen by magic – it’s grounded in the shared experiences that they have with one another and the ways that those experiences knit them together. 

This is important for kids. Today more than ever, kids are disconnected from one another thanks to technology and the increasing ways that we’re spread out. In the wake of the pandemic, which will have repercussions for many years in terms of childhood socialization according to experts, kids have to figure out again how to build relationships with each other, and that’s no easy thing. 

Fencing can do that in remarkable ways. Let’s explore how. 

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Fencing can begin as young as seven or even six years old, and we want to encourage those littlest fencers to get the most out of the sport.

Any parent will tell you that elementary school-aged kids have very different needs than middle school or high school-aged kids. Often, fencing is focused on those older youths in the sport, but as kids sign up for fencing at younger ages and the Y8 fencing category becomes more popular and now an official event in regional competitions, it’s increasingly important for us to have the right tools to meet the needs of younger fencers.

Supporting your youth athlete as a fencing mom or dad starts with being there for them when they struggle. While coaching is one piece of the puzzle, coaches can only do so much. It’s parents who are in the throes of being there during the hard times and helping kids get through the tough moments.

While it’s important to encourage your young fencer to be dedicated to the sport, it is also important to remember that they are still little children and need time balance. The following tips will help you encourage your child in their fencing journey while showing them how to be resilient.

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Adolescence is a challenging time for lots of reasons. It marks the transition from being a kid to being an adult, but those intervening years are anything but easy on pre-teens and teenagers. Fencing can really help young people navigate this often unbalanced time.

Parents are, quite justifiably, always on the lookout for ways to support their tweens and teens. We want what’s best for them so that they can grow into the amazing adults that we know they will be! Finding outlets like fencing can be transformative for young people in all the best ways.  

Let’s talk about adolescence

First off, let’s define what it is to be an adolescent. This time stretches from age 10 to age 21 or so, which is coincidentally the same time that most fencers are getting into the sport and growing through it. Fencing generally starts off around the age of eight or ten, and fencers are fencing through high school and college. Of course, adult fencing is very much a thing as well, but the bulk of fencers start when they are adolescents. 

We don’t often think of the early twenties as being part of childhood, but any parent who’s had a kid in college will tell you that young people are still very much developing until their early twenties. Though boys and girls both stop growing heightwise by the time they’re 18, the young brain isn’t done developing until the age of 25. 

The gulf between age 10, when puberty starts to get rolling, and age 25, when a person is a fully grown adult, it’s massive. This time is rocked by kids making decisions about their future life. They’re learning about who they are, what they’re interested in, and what the boundaries are for them. 

Mental expansion

The mental aspect of fencing is a huge part of what we do on the strip. There is constantly something to adjust thanks to the way that fencing works. 

Every opponent is different in fencing. Even an opponent who you have gone against in the past has grown and changed in their skill since you previously bouted against them. Fencers must always calculate what they are doing in a match, changing and learning as they go. It’s a fantastic mental workout, and it’s one that adolescent minds can really grab onto and benefit from. This active engagement of all parts of the mind is one of the reasons why preteens and teenagers get so into fencing!

On the other side, fencing fosters mental focus as well. Teenagers especially are just learning how to focus. The practice they get doing this in fencing creates a transferable skill that helps them in academics and their social life. 

A big boost for mental health in teenagers that fencing provides is the ability to deal with stressful situations. There is an urgency to combat sports, and to fencing in particular. Though we know that we’re safe when we’re fencing, we are still faced with a weapon. The quick nature of the matches also pushes the stress response. Oftentimes there are situations when there is a little time to score this decisive point. Fencers repeat the experience over and over again, practicing their ability to think clearly and move swiftly and accurately when they are under pressure. 

Physical transformation

Kids grow by leaps and bounds from around the age of ten. One day, a kid is shorter than their parents, then the next year they’ll be towering over them! It’s truly a shocking occurrence that is natural but also extreme. 

All of the physical transformations that a young person goes through during their preteen and teenage years can be disorienting. As much as we parents are looking at them and noticing these huge changes, we have to remember that the kids are living in them. Even though we all went through this same thing, it’s been quite a while ago and we don’t always remember it so pointedly. 

Fencing helps young people stay grounded in their bodies. We see this all of the time in our fencing club, here in the San Francisco Bay Area, the way that a young person’s fencing is affected by a major growth spurt. Coaches get to walk them through how to accommodate these changes in their fencing. Distance, speed, and tactics in fencing all need to be modified as a young fencer’s body changes. 

In fencing, we focus a whole lot on form and movement control. Because fencers are constantly calibrating their technique, they are constantly grounding their physical understanding. This helps adolescent fencers to feel good in their body and to feel in control during a time when that is challenging. 

There is also the physical fitness component of fencing. This is a rigorously physical sport, even as it’s a mentally engaging one. We know that physical activity is a great way to even out brain chemistry. The rush of cardio, of which there’s plenty in fencing, floods the brain with blood and calms it all down. This is so, so important for young people during adolescence. They need that physical activity to reduce their stress levels and to even out their mood. 

Social skills and support

Every teenager worries at some point whether they are “normal” or not. Everything is changing so rapidly for them, both physically and emotionally, that they don’t know which way is up. These huge changes make it hard for them to believe that what they’re experiencing could possibly be the same thing that everyone else has experienced. 

Young people need to be around people who are their own age, of course, because this lets them know that they aren’t alone in this. Fencing is great for building those peer relationships, where adolescents can connect with other youth and find out that they aren’t alone. Going to competitions especially builds the kinds of close relationships that give them space to talk about these things. 

On the other side, young people need to be around adults who are not their parents so that they can see examples of what it’s like on the other side. Mentorship in fencing comes from fencing coaches and the staff at the fencing club. Adolescents find other adults who they can talk to. It doesn’t necessarily have to be about deep issues either. It can be as simple as talking through a growth spurt with a coach that makes a young person feel like their experience is normal. 

Mentorship from older fencers is another aspect of this. Young fencers get to build those same bonds with kids who are older than they are. Again, this goes a long way to giving them social support during a turbulent time for any young person. We have fencers who go off to college and then come back to visit the club. They get to share their successes and the things they have overcome as they transitioned from living at home to being away at college. It’s really helpful for our younger fencers to see that and engage with the older fencer’s knowledge.  

This broad spectrum of age that fencers get to interact with in a fencing club is unique, even among sports. It’s a truly wonderful support system as they navigate growing up. It’s also unlike what they find at school, where they’re surrounded by either kids their own age or adults, because in their fencing club all fencers share the same passion and interests and that’s a huge thing. 

Boundary pushing and fencing

Teenagers are well known for pushing boundaries. This can be tough on parents, but it’s also a necessary part of learning to be an adult. They have to poke their way through to find out exactly what kinds of behaviors are the right fit for them. 

Fencing offers a natural outlet for pushing boundaries for young people. The very nature of fencing, as a combat sport with weapons, gives kids a sense of independence. There is something powerful about holding a sword against an opponent. It helps adolescents feel like they have agency and strength. 

There is also something powerful about the way that a parent trusts that young person to hold this weapon.  When a parent takes a child to learn fencing, they are saying to them, “I trust you to be safe with a weapon that could hurt another person.” That’s a bit deal! Not only are they allowed to do this, but they are trusted to use that weapon against an opponent in a responsible way. 

Giving kids responsibility like this fulfills the same need that they are seeking to fill when they act out in rebellion. Teenagers are often looking for an increase in responsibility when they push the boundaries that their parents set up for them. They feel like they’re ready for more, and they are called to fulfill that sense of independence. 

Fencers who compete can build on this same feeling. The individual nature of the sport gives a sense of freedom and excitement. Going up against an opponent during a fencing competition can feel like it has high stakes, setting off that very exciting rush that young people want to have. 

This is not to say that teenage fencers don’t push boundaries with their parents. Not at all. The point here is that fencing itself can meet that need for a rush of responsibility. 

A screen antidote

Every adolescent today is seemingly glued to their screens. Particularly in the wake of the pandemic, teenagers and preteens use their screens as a way to learn and to socialize. While those things are certainly important, parents are always looking for ways to pull back screen time.

We know that excessive screentime in teenagers is linked to higher rates of depression. This is something we hear about in parenting all the time, and we all want to help our kids stay healthy mentally. Figuring out ways to get those teenagers off of their phones and into the real world is a priority for lots of parents, and for good reason. 

Fencing is a fantastic antidote to screen time. It’s physically and mentally engaging, but it’s also exciting for teenagers. When they’re in the club, whether it’s for class, open fencing, or private lessons, their phones are far away and they’re getting a social and physical workout. It’s a great thing for them! 

Fencing competitions are fantastic for this as well, though there is a lot of downtime at these events. During that downtime, young people can watch other fencers during in-person matches, instead of watching matches online. It’s different to see things in person than it is on YouTube!

Exposure to the wider world

The end goal of parenting is to support our tweens and teens through these years so that they will become successful, independent adults. That’s what all of this is about. Though they start of relying on us for everything, by the time they finish with adolescents, they should be relying on us for very little. 

Fencing is by its nature an international sport that brings people together. Fencers are exposed to a whole variety of people, and it is really wonderful for them to see how others live so that they can grow. 

The desire for independence while still relying on adults for guidance is the center of this time in a child’s life. Fencing is a great way to help them learn to regulate their emotions, to navigate the physical changes they are experiencing, and to find a positive social circle that includes both peers and people of different ages.

One thing that parents are always looking for is new things for their kids to participate in. We want our kids to have the opportunity to learn new things, even as we want them to find that perfect activity and focus on it so they can excel. 

Keeping their bodies and minds busy through youth sports, clubs, the arts, and more helps kids to grow up strong and it fosters an expanded worldview. 

1. More activities is a good thing

There is no other time quite like childhood, with its wide-open nature and the time and support to explore lots of things. It’s a wonderful period, and parents naturally want to help their kids make the most of the magic. 

Kids should absolutely dive into lots of different things. Here are five reasons why!

2. Well rounded kids will be well-rounded adults

“Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.” If kids only do one thing, they can get blinders on and become unbalanced. This is especially important around middle school when kids naturally start to feel off-kilter and as though they don’t belong. Any kind of hiccup in the child’s social circle can be devastating. 

When kids participate in lots of things, they have lots of chances to build their self-esteem and feel good about themselves. In addition, lots of physical activities will feed on each other, building muscles and giving kids a different way of thinking about things. That motion in the swimming pool helps to strengthen back muscles that work for gymnastics too. The agile thinking of fencing helps to hone focus for chess club too. 

All of this helps kids become more well-rounded, and that will translate into adulthood, where they’ll be used to balancing lots of different activities. For now, they’re keeping up with school and activities. As adults, they’ll be keeping up with work, family, and hobbies and activities of their own.

3. Social enrichment

Increasing the social footprint of kids with lots of activities is fantastic for building their peer and adult relationships. This is so, so important for developing healthy kids and preserving mental health. 

When a child is participating in lots of different activities, they are making friends and forging mentor relationships through shared interests. Those don’t just last for the amount of time that they’re doing these specific things, but rather carry with them outside of the narrow focus of one thing. 

Particularly in the wake of the pandemic, social enrichment is important. Kids lost a significant amount of social time through lockdown, and participating in lots of youth activities can help make up for that lost time. While we don’t want to overwhelm kids, we do want to give them lots of opportunities to make friends and form social ties with adult mentors like coaches.

4. Overcoming challenges

With every new sport that a kid participates in, they have to learn a new set of skills from bodily movement to thinking patterns to social interactions. In addition, there are specific challenges involved in every kind of sport that are different for each child. For example, a shorter child might have to learn to come at soccer very differently than a child who has a height advantage in that sport. 

One of the biggest benefits of sports in general is the way that it forces adaptation and growth in both the mental and physical arena. Every single sport has winners and losers, and every child who participates will be on both sides of that divide at one time or another. How to respond when there are huge challenges to overcome is just as important as winning. In fact, losing is a better teacher than winning is. 

Whatever the game they’re playing, kids who take the plunge and lean into youth sports learn how to overcome significant challenges along the way. 

5. Self-determination

Independence is the final goal for all parents for their kids. We want them to learn skills, become strong, and then become independent and step away from us. Learning to make their own decisions and to make those decisions thoughtfully has everything to do with kids’ ability to transition out from home and into adult life. 

Allowing kids to participate in lots of different youth activities and then encouraging them to make decisions about what they want to do, how much they can handle, and how to balance their time and energy builds essential skills for the future. Young people can make decisions that work for them, even in elementary and middle school. That kind of autonomy builds self esteem for kids and shows them that the adults in their lives trust them. 

One thing about this is how it can be challenging for parents to let go of their control. Though we might put a lot of money, time, and effort into a sport, it might not be what a kid wants to do forever. Learning to let go and allow kids to make their own decisions is tough sometimes, but it’s also freeing and important. 

Why youth sports like fencing are important

Participating in youth sports, all kinds of youth sports, teaches kids a huge range of skills. What’s really wonderful about this is that so many of these benefits go across all kinds of sports, including fencing but also everything from gymnastics to skateboarding to football.

• Adaptability to environments – The fencing strip, the soccer field, the skating rink, the basketball court. By trying lots of different sports, kids learn to be comfortable in many different environments. 
• Managing risk – Nothing ventured, nothing gained. It’s difficult for kids to learn how to step out of the comfort of their parents or their school and challenge themselves. It’s scary! Participating in youth sports, especially trying a variety of youth sports, helps kids to see that trying new things isn’t so scary after all. So often, the biggest monsters are the ones we imagine. 
• Movement mastery – As we get older, we discover how essential it is to have control over our bodies. Though kids tend to have a wonderful ability to move and learn new movements, that becomes more of a challenge when they get older. Youth sports offer an important foundation for lifelong health.
• Strategic thinking – All kinds of sports involve some amount of strategic thinking. In team based sports, this is done in tandem with teammates. In individual sports, strategic thinking is all about one person versus their opponent. Which angles and movements are most likely to end in success, the effect of speed and timing, the way that movement affects the outcome – these are all part of the stash of strategies that kids learn during sports. Even better, that kind of strategic think transfers out of sports and into school and life. 

While you’re encouraging your child to try out lots of different sports, do keep in mind that it’s totally ok to insist that they stick with something, at least for some set period of time. You might say that they need to fence for six months regularly or keep on with an entire season of volleyball. This way, you as a parent aren’t wasting money and also the kids aren’t learning to quit as soon as something isn’t perfect. 

It can be dizzying to have kids going in lots of different directions, but it’s also important for their development. You never know what your child will be successful at unless they have the opportunity to try it!